we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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