There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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