brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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