Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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