See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
