CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
ttyl tear gas
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
