I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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