i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
