i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
How external is "for external use only"?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
