Whod you bang
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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