I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
