the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
