ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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