this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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