Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just want to make out with him forever
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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