Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
