you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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