So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
