he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
