Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
