Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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