The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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