I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
