My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
