Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Randomize
