some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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