Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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