i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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