I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
