look no pants
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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