Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
