Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You made out with two different species that night
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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