i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
