Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
