You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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