Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
