I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
