Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
