On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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