So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
