Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
