She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
