what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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