We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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