I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
