Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
