You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
