I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
