If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
