How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize