this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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