Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
