Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
