I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize