i don't like sucking hair
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I need to calm my uterus...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
