dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
