its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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