You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
