if i can run in heels then i can drive
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
