I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
