guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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