dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
40s are totally the cure
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
