i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
