This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
