Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
